New School Year for Families
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By Anne Donegan Costas
First Day Of School
The first day of school is ususally a mixture of excitement, tension, and chaos. Having been in the education business for about 30 years I am remembering my own childhood and the first weeks as a school counselor. Students have their new crayons, lunch boxes, shoes, notebook/binder and more. We couldn’t wait. We went to meet the teacher and found our class(es), met our teacher(s) and we were ready to start!
How Do I Feel? Is My Child Ready? Am I ready to let go?
Our children, many of whom do not express it openly, often have a bit of fear over whether the teacher will be nice or mean. Will she/he be hard? Will any of her/his friends be in their class? Who will I sit by at lunch? These are normal fears and questions and are usually overcome or answered within the first couple of days of school. Encourage your child by reminding them, perhaps, of another year when they might have been apprehensive and how things turned out to be fine or even great.
Adventures
Adventures are always fun and yet challenging in many ways. It might be helpful to talk with your student about some of the challenges that come with learning their way around a new school. What happens if we get lost? If we cannot find the restroom? The older students face things like will “that girl” still not like me from last year? What if “SHE” is in my room? I don’t like her. These are great things to talk with your child about not only at the beginning of school but throughout the year to see how things are going.
Encourage
Encourage your child as he/she enters a new school year. Ask them about their day each afternoon. They might be more willing to talk after they have been home and had a snack but you know your child best and what works for your family. You could already have a way to share. For example, maybe your family takes time at dinner to share about their day. I often found the car was great because they were a captive audience. Usually as they are just getting out of school things are still fresh on their minds too. Although we also used dinner time to share.
Sharing Their Day
If you have a child/young person who doesn’t like to talk or tell you what is going on you may have to be more creative. I learned the hard way when my children were young that I could not learn much by asking yes and no questions. I had to think of things to ask that required a real answer. Often I did get, “I don’t remember,” or “I don’t know.” But often times I also got a real answer. I would always take anything I could get. Maybe you can tell I raised sons who tend to be a bit quieter than girls. I asked a lot of questions! But I learned a lot by asking questions. Sometimes we have to work a little harder to find out what is going on. But it is possible and very worth it!
Dispel Fears
Depending on how the first few days or week went for your child you may feel that you need to recognize those fears and let your child know it is okay to feel uncertain. This is a natural human emotion especially when we are beginning a new adventure. You might share with your child a time when you were beginning something new, your new adventure, and tell them how you felt. Include how you handled those feelings and how things worked out. It would be helpful, obviously, to use an example that turned out in a positive way.
Prepare For Tomorrow
A good way to end each evening is have your student get their books, homework, etc. all together by the door you will be exiting from in the morning. This way they won’t have to scramble in the morning looking for things and either losing something or leaving something at home. This is an excellent habit for the family to get into and will be beneficial the entire year.
Learning is Fun!! Have some this year with your student and family!