Depression or Moodiness-Knowing the Difference

By Anne Donegan Costas

Quiet time often helps us think through things that may be causing us pain.

Quiet time often helps us think through things that may be causing our depression or moodiness.

During important transition years high school teenagers may experience moodiness or even depression.  In fact, we all have times in our lives when we are down or upset about something that has not gone the way we hoped.  What is important is knowing the difference between just having a bad day or being in a bad mood as opposed to depression.  I saw depression and moodiness both as a school counselor.  It is important as an educator and a parent to know the signs of both to ensure we provide our child/student with the help, support, and guidance they might need.

OBSERVATIONS

The kinds of things I was confronted with when students came to visit me or a parent/teacher referred them was a lack of interest in what was going on around them.  They didn’t enjoy much of anything and/or had lost interest in things they use to find fun.   Some of the time the student was in touch with themselves enough to know what was causing their mood and would share that with me.  We could go from there and work on whatever it was the student was dealing with.  This might be someone at school bothering them, it could be failing grades and not feeling successful, a death in the family, and a myriad of other things.

MOODINESS

Having a mix of good and bad days or having times of sadness are normal.  We need to encourage our child/student that this is normal and they will feel better soon.  Talk with them about what might be bothering them.  Often times it is a breakup with a girlfriend or boyfriend.  It might have been a grade that has upset them.  Perhaps their parents are separated or divorcing or, perhaps, there has been a death in the family.  These are typically things that may cause a bad day.  These days may come and go.  However, when the bad days start outnumbering the good days and the moodiness doesn’t seem to be getting better it might be a good time to seek help.

DEPRESSION

Someone who is depressed has lost interest in things they use to find fun.  For example, your student liked going to the movies with friends and now you find they would rather stay home and listen to their music. They might be spending a lot of time in their room alone.   Depression typically will leave a person with little energy.  Their sleep habits might change.  They may sleep a lot, cannot get to sleep, or they wake in the middle of the night and cannot return to sleep.

Depression will interfere with everyday life.  Teenagers who are depressed often exhibit anger.  They have trouble making friends, are not getting homework finished, and show a disinterest in life.

SEEKING HELP

If you are concerned or if you feel that something might be wrong ask your child about it.  Sit with them in private when you have time to listen.   If possible start at a young age having time with each child to just talk.  It doesn’t have to be daily, but a couple of times a week check on them.  Sometimes those talks may be five minutes and other times they could be longer.  It is important for your child to know you have time for them.

Seek medical help if you continue to be concerned after visiting with your child or if your child mentioned needing some help.  I had students who occasionally would ask their parent to take them to counseling.

Sometimes we, as parents, need to seek help because we are having a hard time with our child.  We might need to talk to a professional about some parenting ideas if we are frustrated or feel we are not getting through to our child.  Sometimes just talking with a friend is all we need.

EDUCATORS

Teachers and school personnel will need to let the school counselor know if they feel the student needs more than they are capable of giving.  However, the teacher/student relationship can, often times, be an important relationship for the child.  There are students who feel comfortable with certain teachers and will, over time, trust them completely with information they have never told anyone else.  Some teachers feel they are not trained in this area, but, it might be all the student needs is a friend and someone to listen. If information does come out during these shared times that is sensitive and the teacher feels she/he does need to let other school personnel know they will need to share this with the student.  They might even offer to go with them to see the counselor.  The counselor will then call parents and/or notify the principal.

SUMMATION

The most important ideas I want you to take away from this is know your child well enough that you can tell when something isn’t right.  Talk to them frequently so they will feel safe coming and talking with you about issues that concern them.  Be a good listener and try not to judge them when they are sharing with you.  Always seek medical help if you are concerned.  Err on the side of caution.

BE WELL!

CLICK HERE for more information on depression.

Check out this article on moodiness and anxiety.

 

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